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  • emotion

    Art is the overflow of emotion into action.  ― Brian Raif

     

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  • courage

    Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. Anaïs Nin

     

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  • Rough Road/Path photos

    I have been involved in facilitating groups for decades. One of the tools I use for groups of adults, teens, or children are photos. I use photos as a way for folks to become familiar and used to talking and sharing in a group. As a way to indirectly share something of themselves by talking about an image/photo. As a way to begin a conversation about larger issues or deeper issues.

    One set of photos I use are Rough Road/Path photos with alcohol addicts and heroin addicts in the beginning of recovery. I spread the photos out on a table and ask the group (usually 10 to 15 men) to pick out one photo that represents their journey in the week or weeks before they came into rehab. Once everyone has chosen a photo I ask them to (one at a time) hold up the photo, describe the photo and why they chose it. The descriptions and stories they tell come from them, their experiences and begin the process of revealing a bit about their lives.

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  • Nectar for a bird

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  • The Journey Begins

    Thanks for joining me!

    Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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  • Cédric Villani on the 7 Ingredients of Creativity

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  • Anger Management

    Over the years I have facilitated anger management groups. I use a variety of handouts and activities to have a process oriented group interaction. One of the hand outs I use is below. I use it in 1 of 2 ways. I have folks fill it out first and then we discuss or we go through it together and discuss. We explore as a group, learning from each other. anger-management.jpg

    ANGER WORDS

    anger disgust grumpiness rage  aggravation dislike hate resentment  agitation envy hostility revulsion  annoyance exasperation irritation scorn  bitterness ferocity jealousy spite  contempt frustration loathing torment  cruelty fury mean-spiritedness vengefulness  destructiveness grouchiness outrage wrath

    Other:_________________________

    Prompting Events for Feeling Anger

    Losing power.

    Losing status.

    Losing respect.

    Being insulted.

    Not having things turn out the way you expected.

    Experiencing physical pain.

    Experiencing emotional pain.

    Being threatened with physical or emotional pain by someone or something.

    Having an important or pleasurable activity interrupted, postponed, or stopped.

    Not obtaining something you want (which another person has).

    Other:_______________________________

    Interpretations That Prompt Feelings of Anger

    Expecting pain.

    Feeling that you have been treated unfairly.

    Believing that things should be different.

    Rigidly thinking “I’m right.”

    Judging that the situation is illegitimate, wrong, or unfair.

    Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place, or in the past.

    Other:____________________________

    Experiencing the Emotion of Anger

    Feeling incoherent.

    Feeling out of control.

    Feeling extremely emotional.

    Feeling tightness or rigidity in your body.

    Feeling your face flush or get hot.

    Feeling nervous tension, anxiety or discomfort.

    Feeling like you are going to explode.

    Muscles tightening. .

    Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening.

    Crying; being unable to stop tears.

    Wanting to hit, bang the wall, throw something, blow up.

    Other:__________________________

    Expressing and Acting on Anger

    Frowning or not smiling; mean or unpleasant facial expression.

    Gritting or showing your teeth in an unfriendly manner.

    Grinning.

    A red or flushed face.

    Verbally attacking the cause of your anger; criticizing.

    Physically attacking the cause of your anger.

    Using obscenities or cursing.

    U sing a loud voice, yelling, screaming, or shouting.

    Complaining or bitching; talking about how lousy things are.

    Clenching your hands or fists.

    Making aggressive or threatening gestures.

    Pounding on something, throwing things, breaking things.

    Walking heavily or stomping; slamming doors, walking out.

    Brooding or withdrawing from contract with others.

    Other:_____________________

    Aftereffects of Anger

    Narrowing of attention.

    Attending only to the situation making you angry.

    Ruminating about the situation making you angry and not being able to think of anything else.

    Remembering and ruminating about other situations that have made you angry in the past.

    Imagining future situations that will make you angry.

    Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness.

    Intense shame, fear, or other negative emotions.

    Other:______________________

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  • live

    “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” Richard Rohr, from Everything Belongs

     

  • Coloring Page Mandala

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  • Behavior Influences Attitudes

    It’s true that our behavior influences our attitudes. Tibetan monks say their prayers by whirling their prayer wheels on which their prayers are inscribed. The whirling wheels spin the prayers into divine space. Sometimes, a monk will keep a dozen or so prayer wheels rotating like some juggling act in which whirling plates are balanced on top of long thin sticks. Many novice monks are not that all emotionally or spiritually involved at first. It may be that the novice is thinking about his family, his doubts about a religious vocation or something else while he is going through the motions of spinning his prayer wheel. When the novice adopts the pose of a monk and makes it obvious to themselves and others by playing a role, their brain will soon follow the role they are playing. It is not enough for the novice to have the intention of becoming a monk: the novice must act like a monk and rotate the prayer wheels. If one has the intention of becoming a monk and goes through the motions of acting like a monk, one will become a monk.
    The great surrealist artist Salvador Dali was described by his fellow students at the Madrid art academy as “morbidly” shy according to his biographer Ian Gibson. He had a great fear of blushing and his shame about being ashamed drove him into solitude. It was his uncle who gave him the sage advice to become an actor in his relations with the people around him. He instructed him to pretend he was an extrovert and to act like an extrovert with everyone including your closest companions. Dali did just that to disguise his mortification. Every day he went through the motions of being an extrovert and, eventually, he became celebrated as the most extroverted, fearless, uninhibited and gregarious personalities of his time. He became what he pretended to be.
    The Greek philosopher Diogenes was once noticed begging from a statue. His friends were puzzled and alarmed at this behavior. Asked the reason for this pointless behavior, Diogenes replied, “I am practicing the art of being rejected.” By pretending to be rejected continually by the statue, Diogenes was beginning to understand the mind of a beggar. Every time we pretend to have an attitude and go through the motions, we trigger the emotions we create and strengthen the attitude we wish to cultivate.
    If you want to become an artist and go through the motions of being an artist by painting a picture every day, you will become an artist. You may not become another Vincent Van Gogh, but you will create the attitude of an artist and you will become more of an artist than someone who has never tried.
     
    Mona Lisa’s Smile
    Think, for a moment, about social occasions-visits, dates, dinners out with friends, gatherings, birthday parties, weddings, etc. Even when you’re unhappy or depressed, these occasions force us to act as if we were happy. Observing other’s faces, postures, and voices, we unconsciously mimic their reactions. We synchronize our movements, posture, and tone of voice with theirs. Then my mimicking happy people, we become happy. You begin to behave like the people who surround you, and that behavior influences your attitude.
    Leonardo da Vinci also observed that it’s no mystery why it is fun to be around happy people and depressing to be around depressed people. He also observed the melancholy that painters usually give to portraits. He attributed that to the solitariness of the artist and their joyless environment. According to Giorgio Vasari (1568) that while painting the Mona Lisa Leonardo employed singers, musicians and jesters to chase away his melancholy as he painted. The musicians and jesters forced him laugh and be joyful. This behavior created the attitude of joy and pleasure as he painted. As a result, he painted a smile so pleasing that it seems divine and as alive as the original.
     
    Even Facial Expressions Can Change Your Emotions
    CIA researchers have long been interested in developing techniques to help them study facial expressions of suspects. Two of the researchers began simulating facial expressions of anger and distress all day, each day for weeks. One of them admitted feeling terrible after a session of making those faces. Then the other realized that he felt poorly, too, so they began to keep track. They began monitoring their body during facial movements. Their findings were remarkable. They discovered that a facial expression alone is sufficient to create marked changes in the nervous system.
    In one exercise they raised their inner eyebrows, raised their cheeks, and lowered the corner of their lips and held this facial expression for a few minutes. They were stunned to discover that this simple facial expression generated feelings of sadness and anguish within them. The researchers then decided to monitor the heart rate and body temperatures of two groups of people. One group was asked to remember and relive the most sorrowful experience in their life. The other group in another room was simply asked to produce a series of facial expressions expressing sadness. Remarkably, the second group, the people who were pretending, showed the same physiological responses as the first.
    The CIA researchers in a further experiment had one group of subjects listen to recordings of top comedians and look at a series of cartoons while holding a pen pressed between their lips an action that makes it impossible to smile. Another group held a pen between their teeth which had the opposite effect and made them smile. The people with the pen between their teeth rated the comedians and cartoons much funnier than the other group. What’s more, neither group of subjects knew they were making expressions of emotion. Amazingly, an expression you do not even know you have can create an emotion you did not choose to feel. Emotion doesn’t just go from the inside out. It goes from the outside in.
    Try the following thought experiment.
    •Lower your eyebrows.
    •Raise your upper eyelid.
    •Narrow the eyelids.Press your lips together.
    Hold this expression and you will generate anger. Your heartbeat will go up ten or twelve beats. Your hands will get hot, and you will feel very unpleasant.
    The next time you’re feeling depressed and want to feel happy and positive, try this.
    •Put a pen between your teeth in far enough so that it’s stretching the edges of your mouth back without feeling uncomfortable. This will force a smile. Hold it there for five minutes or so. You’ll find yourself inexplicably in a happy mood. Then try walking with long strides and looking straight ahead. You will amaze yourself at how fast your facial expressions can change your emotions.
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